Parenting a Tiger Child
Posted: January 30, 2011 Filed under: Aha!, Joined at the Heart, Mouths of Babes, Writers Write | Tags: family, Mothers, writers, writing 2 Comments »
I’m not a Tiger mom. (If you’ve been under a rock in regard to parenting trends, see the article here.) But, since the high school orchestra visited Coco’s school last year, she’s wanted to play the violin. I explained, “You’ll have to learn to read music.” She taught herself notes and fingerings on a dollar store recorder. I said, “Wait until fifth grade. Then you can learn with your friends in the school strings program.”
“I want to play the violin now.”
After she made her big sister watch an entire PBS concert featuring Itzhak Perlman and YoYo Ma, I gave in.
Last June, we agreed to lessons on a trial basis with a rented instrument. We found Miss Winnie, who is Chinese like Coco. She played second violin in the Shanghai symphony. She is a luthier, which means she makes violins as well as plays them. Coco adores her. Once a week, I sit outside a practice room and listen to my nine-year old explore a world that belongs only to her.
This week she gave her first public performance. In the school talent show, she played for 350 of her classmates. Where did she find the courage? I’m not a Tiger mom, but it’s possible I have a Tiger child.
And They Said It Wouldn’t Last
Posted: August 18, 2010 Filed under: Joined at the Heart, Writers Write | Tags: family, Mothers, vacation, writers, writing Leave a comment »In the middle of our first adoption, a guy I know asked if I could get my money back if I didn’t like the kid. I wish I’d said, “Do your parents want their money back on you?”
Ten years ago this week, I became Cherry’s mom. She was a smiley Chinese version of the Gerber baby. Today, she is a Barbie Doll. You know, the one that comes dressed in the nuclear physicist suit.
We celebrated with a weekend at the beach.
Come on in. The water's fine.
No thanks. I'm fine right here.
They Look Just Like You
Posted: May 10, 2009 Filed under: Aha!, Joined at the Heart, Mouths of Babes, Writers Write | Tags: family, international adoption, mother's day, Mothers, writers, writing 1 Comment »My two daughters, born in China, have two friends, sisters born in Ethiopia. One day last week, their mom asked me a question about naturalization for international adoptees. In the middle of our discussion, E., who is nine like Cherry, interrupted.
“You mean Coco was adopted?”
“Yes, just like you and your sister.”
E. is a bright, effervescent bubble. She sparkles whenever she speaks. “Really? How about Cherry?”
“Cherry was adopted too.”
“Wow!” Looking at me out of the corner of her eye, she asked, “If they’re adopted, how come they look just like you?”
It took me a second to realize she was serious, and she expected an explanation.
“You shrug your shoulders the exact, same way your mom does. Coco laughs like I do. Cherry has my smile. I guess, when we spend time together, we become like the people we love the most.”
E. nodded her head thoughtfully. “My mom and I don’t look anything alike.” She hugged her mom and ran off to play.
