Noxious Evils · Writers Write

Burglarized: The Sign Says So


The house is about three blocks from mine. When I first saw the sign, I did a double take. Why? Is the homeowner being conscientious, alerting his neighbors? Or is he mad that they didn’t try to protect his house? Is he¬†wrecking property values by advertising a robbery?

Bacon suggested that the real sign was stolen, so the homeowner made another one from scraps in the garage.

Burglarized? That’s a word with a lot of letters. Why not robbed? Looted? Pillaged, plundered, or sacked? OK, so it’s a 60s ranch with clerestory windows. Not likely to be the target of Blackbeard, or Attila the Hun, or NFL great Lawrence Taylor. I’ll toss my thesaurus away now.

Whatever the reason, the sign got my attention. I’m locking the door behind me.