A Zany Life · Noxious Evils

Rosa DelaCruz

I don’t know you, but every day for a month, we’ve been called by the folks at JC Penney. For whatever reason, they believe we have your cell phone. Today, Bacon hit redial. 

A computer generated voice answered, “Please enter your 10 digit account number.”

“I don’t have an account number.” 

On cue, the computer repeated, “Please enter your 10 digit account number.”

“Here’s my account number.” Bacon began punching the zero button. “I’ll give you ten digits,  0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0.”

“May I have your name?”

Wait, was this a real human on the line? “It isn’t Rosa DelaCruz, even though you call every day expecting her to answer.”

The humanoid asked, “Can you put Rosa DelaCruz on the line?”

“I don’t know her. She doesn’t live here.”

A few minutes later, Bacon convinced the humanoid to remove our number from Rosa’s account. We’ll know tomorrow by 2:00 if it worked.

Note to Rosa: the next time you decide to default on a credit card, please avoid using our telephone number. Thank you.